CHM Counseling, LLC:
Connection | Hope | Meaning
Those of us who have reached midlife – roughly around age 50 – quickly learn that we face many challenges as we age. We may notice challenges with our own bodies – difficulty walking, not being able to drive, declining health, chronic pain, loss of strength, and/or decrease in sexual desire or functioning. Challenges can also be social – a move to a new level of care away from a familiar community, death of friends and/or long-term partners, social isolation, and loneliness.
So often, it can feel that we have little to no control over these challenges. In this first blog post, I aim to identify three areas over which I believe we do have control as we age – connection, hope and meaning. It is through exploration of these three areas – connection, hope, and meaning – where I believe meeting with an experienced therapist can help us to better enjoy life as we age.
CONNECTION
I believe that as we get older, it is important to be deliberate about our connections to the world around us. It is too easy to become isolated as we age – if we have retired, we no longer see our colleagues on a regular basis. If we no longer drive or if walking distance is a challenge, we may not be able to get out to see friends for lunch, get to the barber or hairdresser, or get to our house of worship.
How can you remain connected to your world? First, I would encourage you to identify your history of connections. What connections have been meaningful to you over the course of your life? Remember that connection includes anything outside of yourself – you can be connected to other people, to your pets, to a hobby, to your faith, to understanding history, to nature, or to news of the world around you.
HOPE
Remember the old adage, “where there is life, there is hope.” Holding on to hope can be a strong source of support. It is easy to be overtaken by sadness as we age, especially when life is challenging. Actively looking for hope can help allay sadness.
How can you hold onto hope in the face of challenge? I would encourage you to think deeply about what hope has meant to you over your life, and what it means to you now. Maybe there is a future event that you can anticipate with hope. Or perhaps you hope to renew or deepen a connection you identified above. You can have hope for this life, or you can have hope for what you believe comes after this life. You can have hopes for yourself and hopes for others.
MEANING
The psychologist Erik Erikson, who identified eight stages of human development over the course of a lifetime, believed that as we age, we need integrity. In my understanding, Erikson’s concept of integrity means that we are able to look back at our lives with a predominant feeling of a life well lived and find meaning there.
How can you find integrity as you age? You might start by trying to identify your values, and look for how you have lived your values at different times in your life. Or, you might consider your unique talents and identify the contributions you have made, large or small. If you have made mistakes (as we all certainly have over the course of a lifetime) you can look for ways to understand, forgive, and love your younger self. If you feel very brave, you might begin to consider what you hope your legacy will be.
Connection | Hope | Meaning
In this opening blog post, I have tried to identify three areas we can control as we age – connections to the world around us, hope for the future, and the meaning we make in our lives. In my counseling work, I encourage clients to explore their connections, their hopes, and how they find meaning. Sometimes, this work takes the form of Life Review, a therapeutic approach in which counselor and therapist remember and explore a lifetime of experiences.
You might choose to look for connection, hope, and meaning by talking with friends and family, by reading or journaling, or by seeking a counselor. I send you my warmest best wishes for feelings of connection, hope, and meaning as you age.
CHM Counseling, LLC 